Friday, 20 July 2012

Being brave and bearing all

Ok, those of you who follow very regularly will know that it's been a good few weeks since I lost blogged. The reason for that is simple, I didn't know how to put the words in black and white - the words that admit- a relapse.

Now I want to make one thing extremely clear this post is NOT in anyway a "poor me, pity me" post it's about honesty, it's about integrity and most of all it's about smashing the ridiculous stigma that surrounds mental health.

For reasons in my physical health my mental health has been more than struggling and over the past few months, I am ashamed almost to say, I have noticed my emotions and my control of them spiraling. I can say I hand on heart knew the reason for this but because I was being defiant to my own self and more importantly to my family, I refused to concede to the obvious and kept the British stiff upper lip. What an absoloute mistake and utter joke from the person so passionate in voicing about post natal depression and mental health as a whole. 15,000 plus have read my blog and read the one thing iv always campaigned about is speaking out an giving post natal depression a voice, hell I'm even taking it with the help of some wonderful mums to the press and into the mags. So why did I find it a challenge to take my mind to my GO and lay it bear. Quite simply because I have been doing what at some point in our lives we all do. "going through the motions"

So turnaround, this time, unlike my first diagnosis 2y ago, within 6 weeks my bum was in the seat infront of my GP with my mum by my side admitting I was struggling and need help! Within 30m back on the yellow and green tablet that I purposely take alongside my other pills for my physical problems because I am DAMNED if I'll treat my mind pills any different from my others. It's the same thing it's a condition , it requires a treatment. The irony being my mind will be sorted long before my body. What does that say for mental health treatment? Admittance and support are just the start, asking for the help being key! And to all those without the option to ask for help, speak up and speak out!

And I have to see a success in the fact that this time I didn't hide it from my family, I didn't hide it from my GP I just kept it from myself - although I knew deep inside, and hey there are things we can't control so if I can't control the physical I sure as hell will control the mind!

So... Emotive speak is one thing, clarification is something on a different level and that level is honesty. I can't be any less open about this because I want to be among those speaking up and speaking out!

Thank you for reading my naked post

8 comments:

  1. Actually well. Done. I have not followed your blog before. I had a rubbish summer when DS3 was born and 3 boys had viruses for 11 weeks. And I had about 3 hours sleep a night, in part due to worrying who was going to blow on febrile convulsions. Which happened, not to the baby, then http://malmomum.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/febrile-convulsions-experienced-mum.html
    I entered a half marathon (steely eyed determination) but not much time for training that year. I did a really awful time, had bought a rib of beef which cooked while I ran, I must have hit endorphins big time as I felt a different person afterwards (and had a tummy bugfrom kids as I ran but did not know at the the beginning of the run. TMI ;-)).

    Not the same for every one but it sorted me. And ate that beef all week which was good for red cell count .

    Off to finish off touching up my roots with hair dye.

    Big hugs.

    You have done very well

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  2. Thank u so much for reading and for ur comments. With kindest regards Lx

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  3. I have been there, well done for noticing and doing something about it. I hate the stigma that comes with it. I love your honesty, yours is a blog I love reading :) x

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  4. Thank u Hunni for reading and for commenting. Hope ur ok xxx

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  5. I appreciate your honesty and openness, I'm finding times tough at the moment and it helps to read about how other people cope and manage with depression.

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  6. Thank you for reading and for commenting. Iv heard lots of people saying that reading other accounts of people's experience with mhealth has been a source of information and too an extent comfort for them in their recovery. I really hope your feeling better soon. If you ever want to chat my twitter name is @laurindaisla xx

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